Are you having fun? - A close look at the role of fun in our lives
“What’s fun in your life lately?”
“Huh? What’s there to be fun about life?”
“Oh, why? I think life is so much fun -”
This was a conversation my husband and I had repeatedly since the early days of our relationship. Although I wasn’t always finding everything hilarious, I was someone who found a lot of things fun.
During elementary school, living in the steep hills of west of Seoul in the early 80s, I found school and friends incredibly fun. Studying was enjoyable, chatting with girls was fun, and the attention from boys was exciting. I remember climbing that steep hill to school without feeling tired, looking forward to the day’s share of fun. On weekends, I would gather neighborhood kids and plan various games. In that winding neighborhood, I would convince kids to do relay races across 3–4 points. On a summer morning approaching 30 degrees, we were sweating profusely during a relay race that no one asked us to do (well, that I insisted on).
I loved all kinds of games: land-grabbing, jump rope, Monopoly, Go, Janggi, dodgeball, and running. In a way, friends to me were simply those with whom I could play fun games. I enjoyed singing loudly by myself, and I loved books. I was a somewhat strange child who found sports days, school trips, after-school cleaning, writing contests, and even exams fun.
Around the age of 12, I suddenly made a decision. I would make the purpose of my life, to have fun. I was convinced that there was nothing that made me as happy as this feeling of having fun.
The Thing I Hated Most in the World
Of course, alongside these brilliant and fun days, there was one thing I absolutely despised — piano practice. My mother, having heard that I had a talent for piano, shepherded me into lessons like a border collie herding sheep. From fourth grade onwards, I had to practice three hours every day, including Saturdays and Sundays. After finishing school homework and piano practice, it would almost reach dinnertime, and I no longer had anyone to play with. Hearing my mother turn away friends who came to visit while I was practicing piano was a heartbreaking pain.
Perhaps it was because of this incredibly unfun piano practice that the rest of the world seemed so sweet and so interesting. Or was it because I was so curious and interested in so many things that those three hours sitting on a piano bench felt like torture? While playing piano and suppressing the deep feelings of dislike, those three hours each day etched into me what it means to live a life doing something you don’t want to do.
Growing Up Means More Unfun Things and Uninteresting People
As I grew older, I simultaneously began to accept the obvious fact that the things I had to do were no longer that fun anymore. From high school, studying was no longer enjoyable, and even the romantic relationships during college had periods that made me miserable. The workplace was incredibly fun for the first few years, but I also witnessed the world’s unfairness and experienced betrayal from colleagues I once trusted.
Becoming an adult meant having less and less time to pursue fun. Nevertheless, whenever I had time, I would automatically switch on the question, “What fun can I go after today?” New adventures and paths others haven’t taken particularly attracted me.
Chasing after Fun Might Be Good for Your Health
“Usually, things are either fun or not fun for most. But you seem to have such a nuanced and detailed approach to fun.”
“Is that so? I just find the world curious and fun.”
“Unni, if everything is so fun, you probably won’t get depression, right?”
A close friend I met recently made this comment after showing interest in my fun-seeking life philosophy. I thought, yes, that’s possible. My view of a well-lived life is to try as many fascinating, curious, and potentially fun things as possible during one’s time. And since time is finite, you must be diligent. There’s a long journey towards big bad hairy fun, and within that, small daily enjoyments that you should also not miss.
My Definition of Fun
Listening to my friend’s comment, I suddenly wondered — am I just labeling pretty much everything as fun? What exactly do I find fun, and in what circumstances? Is my understanding of fun something others can relate to?
I organized the characteristics of what I find fun:
I like creating something with my hands to show and inspire others. Currently, I fill much of this desire with flowers, but I’ve also drawn, made pottery, written, and taken photos. I enjoy both producing and consuming beautiful and new things. Deep down, I hope my creations inspire others to want to try or desire what I’ve created. This is the most fun out of all the funs.
I enjoy throwing myself into new environments. Meeting new people, learning unfamiliar cultures, and building a chapter of life in that environment like a survival game excites me. However, writing this makes me wonder how much longer I would still have the stamina to look forward to new experiences with a racing heart. Can I always stay like this?
Third, through these experiences, I enjoy observing and discovering myself and the people around me. I love gradually accumulating experience and wisdom, and love sharing these through writing and conversations.
In summary, I greatly enjoy all types of creative and productive activities and the journey of developing insights while adapting to new environments. The evolutionary process of getting better at things and meeting good people on the way is doubly exciting.
Unfun Periods of Life
Meanwhile, we all must do a certain amount of unfun tasks. The best protection from the suffering of unenjoyable work is to be the master of my own choice. No matter how uninteresting something is, if it’s by your choice, it’s less painful. When the career you chose, the partner you selected, or the overseas living you wanted is more difficult or unpleasant than expected, you can at least focus on resolving it. However, when persuaded to do something you truly dislike by someone else, the sense of unhappiness you feel will be on a different level.
For unavoidable daily tasks, I try to find ways to like them, even a little bit. For example, you could meet someone you really can’t get along with at some point in your career. While working with someone you don’t like might be beyond your control, how much you decide to despise the person or the situation is entirely your choice. For me, I would try not to make things harder for myself by feeding the emotion of dislike.
To have the right mindset during those unfun life periods, seems to be incredibly important. I’ve seen short periods of negative experiences leaving significant scars on one’s entire life. When things are tough and unpleasant, clever handling of unfun moments can make or break the long game.
Days of Feeling Fun
Right now, I’m incredibly grateful that there are still things that bring me ‘fun’. Because I’ve seen people who’ve long searched for their own fun without success. I worry that there might be a future where my fun sensors will have become all worn out and dull that I wouldn’t be able to find anything fun anymore. That’s why I am deciding to cherish now, the current me who can still feel that fun things exist in the world. So there. Will try to enjoy and have some fun while I can.
So what are you having fun with these days?